Me: You know what sucks? Shoveling snow sucks.
Brain: You know what’s going to suck a lot more than that?
Me: … not really.
Brain: That frozen waterfall on the side of your house.
Me: Wha…
Brain: Or rather, replacing the blown-out brass sprinkler valve that the frozen waterfall originates from.
Me: No, what sucks is you. You suck.
Brain: Me?
Me: Why didn’t you tell me to shut that valve off until almost midnight last night?
Brain: Why didn’t you listen to me two weeks ago, when I told you not to turn it on in the first place, because there’s always a blizzard near the end of March?
Me: … Touche.
Brain: It’s Touché.
Me: Whatever. Why the HELL do they put a valve like that on the outside of the house, anyway? That’s the second time it’s frozen and burst in seven years.
Brain: Because if they put it on the inside, it would flood the house when something like this happened.
Me: But something like this wouldn’t HAPPEN if they put it on the inside of the —
Brain: Shh. Don’t speak. You know what happens when you speak.
Me: But —
Brain: Shh. Look, someone updated on Twitter.
Me: Oooh…
No watering until Mother’s day!
But it was SO DRY.
Was. Key word, there.
Very grateful that you guys are getting the shit weather and we are getting something that resembles decent, at least until all the rivers around here start to flood.