The Spirit of the Thing

“Okay I give up…”


“Seriously WHAT is your deal?”

“A ghost! Jesus fucking -”

“Oh NOW you notice there’s a ghost? Pff.”

“I don’t – Sorry… what?”

“I’ve been haunting you for months, fucko.”

“… really no need to be rude.”


“We just met, is all…”

“Yes. Sorry. It’s just been…”

“… hardly know what I’ve done, but I really don’t think it warrants…”

“…really frustrat- you don’t know what you’ve done?”

“… did you say you’ve been haunting me?”

“YES. And you’ve ignored. All of it.”

“I haven’t.”

“No one’s that good an actor.”

“I’m not saying that, I’m saying I haven’t noticed a haunting.”

“… You…”

“No offense.”

“You didn’t notice?”

“… I don’t think so?”

” I’ve been randomly shifting furniture around your rooms for the last three months!”

“… You have.”


“That was you.”



“Who did you think it was?”

“… Me?”

“WHY WOULD – Sorry…”


“Do you… Remember… Moving any furniture?”

“Ha. That’s funny. No.”

“Then -”

“I just assumed I did it when I wasn’t paying attention.”

“… I-I can’t even process that.”


“Okay forget the furniture for now. What about the lights?”


“I turn on every light in the house before you get home from work and all I get in response is it kind of tired sigh.”

“That was you?”

“I think we’ve established that.”

“I thought I just left them all on my the way out the door.”

“You NEVER do that.”

“Really? That’s a relief.”


“Dude I’ve got ADHD. All this is just… How my life works.”

“You’re telling me I cover every flat surface in the kitchen with half full glasses of water, and open every window in the house, and you figured it was something you did and forgot about?”

“I mean… Probably?”