Okay, I worship Joss Whedon. Worship. Woorrrrrrship. Great writer. I finally got a chance to read the Whedon interview that Randy sent me about three weeks ago, and it’s great.
X-Men was very interesting in that, by that time, I actually had a reputation in television. I was actually somebody. People stopped thinking I was John Sweden on the phone. And then, in X-Men, not only did they throw out my script and never tell me about it; they actually invited me to the read-through, having thrown out my entire draft without telling me. I was like, “Oh, that’s right! This is the movies! The writer is shit in the movies!” I’ll never understand that. I have one line left in that movie. Actually, there are a couple of lines left in that are out of context and make no sense, or are delivered so badly, so terribly… There’s one line that’s left the way I wrote it.
O: Which is?
JW: “‘It’s me.’ ‘Prove it.’ ‘You’re a dick.'” Hey, it got a laugh.
O: It’s funny that the only lines I really remember from that movie are that one and Storm’s toad comment.
JW: Okay, which was also mine, and that’s the interesting thing. Everybody remembers that as the worst line ever written, but the thing about that is, it was supposed to be delivered as completely offhand. [Adopts casual, bored tone.] “You know what happens when a toad gets hit by lightning?” Then, after he gets electrocuted, “Ahhh, pretty much the same thing that happens to anything else.” But Halle Berry said it like she was Desdemona. [Strident, ringing voice.] “The same thing that happens to everything eeelse!” That’s the thing that makes you go crazy. At least “You’re a dick” got delivered right. The worst thing about these things is that, when the actors say it wrong, it makes the writer look stupid.
I love it when people tell you what’s really going on in Hollywood.