{"id":12293,"date":"2015-01-06T11:35:34","date_gmt":"2015-01-06T18:35:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/?p=12293"},"modified":"2017-01-26T22:19:50","modified_gmt":"2017-01-27T05:19:50","slug":"i-am-a-nerd-take-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/2015\/01\/i-am-a-nerd-take-two\/","title":{"rendered":"I am a Nerd (take two)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Class reunion
\nnot exactly fun<\/em>
\nuntil the third rum
\nand Coke.
\nThen one school chum
\ninterrupts the hum
\nand buzz
\nand half-drunken fuzz
\nfor a joke.
\nHis Genuine Draft thunks down
\n(the emblematic drink of this small midwestern town)
\nand he says
\n“So… Doyce
\n“… are you still a nerd?”<\/p>\n

(Before I proceed, a disclaimer
\nabout this guy, not me,
\nhe’s
\na bit of a skeeze
\nhe might say he hasn’t let the years change him
\nI might say he hasn’t changed his denim
\nWranglers. Might be the same pair
\nhe wore down there
\nunder his gown, where
\nhe stood up with the rest of us
\nmortarboard on like the rest of us
\nall the way down at the end of the line
\nfiftieth out of forty-nine
\ndiploma-receiving graduates.<\/p>\n

See,
\nhe’s
\nnot so much ‘chum like a friend you meet’
\nas ‘chum like that stuff sharks eat’
\nno real friend of mine
\nand, certainly, it would feel sickly sublime
\nto simply dismiss him this time,
\nask how his wife likes the wine
\nor how it feels standing in line
\nfor unemployment.<\/p>\n

But there would be no enjoyment.)<\/p>\n

We’re all together<\/em> here
\nFeeling the booze and beer
\nand good cheer
\nsitting at folding tables
\ntelling each other fables.
\nabout the last twenty-five years.<\/p>\n

So rather than rage,
\nI decide to engage
\nand say:
\n“A nerd? Me?
\nLet’s see.”<\/p>\n

I’m not going to waste time talking
\nabout roleplaying games, walking
\nto school every day hauling
\nthree bursting gym bags full of rule books.
\nAnd all the funny looks.<\/p>\n

I mean, you know that already, you were there
\nAnd at the time, it’s not like I cared
\nWhat anyone thought
\nWhat kind of stares I got.
\nNo one was going to kick my ass
\nNot when there were only fifty kids in our class
\nAnd the biggest nerds in school at the time
\nWere five of the varsity football front line.<\/p>\n

No: let’s move forward in time.<\/p>\n

Am I a nerd?<\/p>\n

The person who convinced me to write my first book
\nI met in college when she came over to look
\nat photocopied posters for a local gaming convention
\n(my personal invention)
\nwhich me and my friends were hanging… on every wall in campus.
\nAnd she wanted to ask us
\nif we’d ever played
\nVampire: the Masquerade.
\n(We’re still close today.
\nI introduced her to her husband at one of those college game days.
\nTheir daughter’s name is Ray.)<\/p>\n

Am I a nerd?<\/p>\n

My first job after graduation:
\nA friend said “Hey, this guy’s the one
\nWe should pay to come
\nto Denver.
\nHe’s literate, savvy, never
\nbacks down from learning something new.
\nJust the guy for the tech support crew.”
\nWhat he didn’t mention when they made their choice
\nWas he’d never met<\/em> me, or heard my voice.
\nThe only handshakes we’d ever exchanged
\nWere via modem, connecting in the 2400 baud range.
\nFor him, my qualifying certificate
\nWas building a text-only, multi-user dungeon
\non the internet.<\/p>\n

Am I a nerd?<\/p>\n

My wife<\/em> and I met Online,
\nthe story of our times
\nbut a dating site? Tame.
\nWe met playing video games
\nSaving the world with ice and flame
\nOr bows and blades
\nLooting digital upgrades.
\nFrom twenty-player raids.
\nDorks, right?
\nOur date nights
\nWere orc fights.
\nSure, we became friends because we’re clever and witty
\nAnd had things in common, like saving Paragon City.
\nBut you know what charmed her
\nWhat floated her
\nboat?
\nI<\/em> kept up with her Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes.<\/p>\n

Am I nerd?<\/p>\n

My kids would say yes
\nif I had to guess.
\nMy daughter, nine, at recess
\nplays the part of a zombie princess
\nscary, but cool, in a ragged black dress.
\nLeading her armies onto the field
\nwith a magic sword only she can wield.
\n(The other kid gets an unbreakable shield.)
\nDoes she get teased?
\nNot that I’ve seen
\nAnd if so, she’d handle it better than me.
\n“You know who’s a nerd?!?” She shouts to the school.
\n“I<\/em> am… but all of you are, too.”
\nA nerd, she explains,
\nis just a name
\nFor someone who gets excited about video games
\nOr Science, or Music, going to space,
\nreading a book with a grin on your face.
\nThe local sports teams, shooting some pics,
\nor baking souffl\u00e9s with just the right lift<\/em>.
\nNerds just care<\/em>
\nabout something
\nso much
\nthey scare
\nyou.<\/p>\n

So you ask me this question to\u2026 what?
\nMake me blush?
\nSee if my spirit is easily crushed?
\nI can\u2019t even guess
\nso let me address
\nthe query
\nwith something far less
\nthan indignant fury.
\n“A nerd? Me?
\n“Yes.
\n“Absolutely.”<\/p>\n

He says:
\n\u201cWow. Okay.
\n\u201cI just wanted to see
\n\u201cIf you liked what they did with the new Hobbit movies.\u201d<\/p>\n

And my wife,
\nthus far silent throughout the exchange
\ncries out in pain
\n\u201cOH GOD!<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026 now he\u2019s really<\/em> going to get going.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Class reunion not exactly fun until the third rum and Coke. Then one school chum interrupts the hum and buzz and half-drunken fuzz for a joke. His Genuine Draft thunks down (the emblematic drink of this small midwestern town) and he says “So… Doyce “… are you still a nerd?” (Before I proceed, a disclaimer … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “I am a Nerd (take two)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_import_markdown_pro_load_document_selector":0,"_import_markdown_pro_submit_text_textarea":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9,4],"tags":[525,595],"class_list":["post-12293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-excerpts","category-geeky-fanboy","tag-nerd","tag-po-tree"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12293"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12293\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15677,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12293\/revisions\/15677"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}