{"id":1095,"date":"2009-03-27T09:43:43","date_gmt":"2009-03-27T15:43:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/?p=1095"},"modified":"2009-04-04T13:24:19","modified_gmt":"2009-04-04T19:24:19","slug":"the-un-fun-parts-of-a-blizzard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/2009\/03\/the-un-fun-parts-of-a-blizzard\/","title":{"rendered":"The Un-fun Parts of a Blizzard"},"content":{"rendered":"

Me: <\/strong>You know what sucks? Shoveling snow sucks.<\/p>\n

Brain:<\/strong> You know what’s going to suck a lot more than that?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> … not really.<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>That frozen waterfall on the side of your house.<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>Wha…<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>Or rather, replacing the blown-out brass sprinkler valve that the frozen waterfall originates from.<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>No, what sucks is you. You<\/em> suck.<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>Me?<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>Why didn’t you tell me to shut that valve off until almost midnight last night?<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>Why didn’t you listen to me two weeks ago, when I told you not to turn it on in the first place, because there’s always a blizzard near the end of March?<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>… Touche.<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>It’s Touch\u00e9<\/em>.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>Whatever. Why the HELL<\/em> do they put a valve like that on the outside<\/em> of the house, anyway? That’s the second time it’s frozen and burst in seven years.<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>Because if they put it on the inside, it would flood the house when something like this happened.<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>But something like this wouldn’t HAPPEN<\/em> if they put it on the inside of the —<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>Shh. Don’t speak. You know what happens when you speak.<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>But —<\/p>\n

Brain: <\/strong>Shh. Look, someone updated on Twitter.<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>Oooh…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Me: You know what sucks? Shoveling snow sucks. Brain: You know what’s going to suck a lot more than that? Me: … not really. Brain: That frozen waterfall on the side of your house. Me: Wha… Brain: Or rather, replacing the blown-out brass sprinkler valve that the frozen waterfall originates from. Me: No, what sucks … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “The Un-fun Parts of a Blizzard”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_import_markdown_pro_load_document_selector":0,"_import_markdown_pro_submit_text_textarea":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10,7],"tags":[60],"class_list":["post-1095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blood-sweat-and-cheers","category-untidy-heap","tag-money-pit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1095"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1192,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095\/revisions\/1192"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doycetesterman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}