Comments on: On Descriptions and Breathing

By: More on the Descriptions: the When and Why – doyce testerman

More on the Descriptions: the When and Why – doyce testerman — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:59:37 +0000

[...] So after De asked for it, and I thought about it, and I read her post, I figured I knew what she was asking about with regard to descriptions. Then I wrote a post about that thing I thought she was asking about. [...]

By: Doyce

Doyce — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 06:17:15 +0000

I will ponder what you’re talking about and see if I can’t noodle at it in another post. :)

By: Will Hindmarch

Will Hindmarch — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:34:46 +0000

Stephen King talks a bit about this in his stellar guide to the craft, ON WRITING, De. When to describe something? That’s artistry, and difficult to convey through anything but example, which I cannot do here (but maybe I’ll do up a post on this subject myself). When to describe is, in short, when something important first manifests, when you want to pause and take things in, or when you otherwise want to pace, if you will, the dialog that is the narration.

How much is easier to convey, but still not quick. A short example is King’s rabbit: Picture a soft white rabbit in a metal cage. Dyed into the fur on its back is a red numeral eight. Do you see the rabbit? Good, then. That may be enough. That is, the answer to how much is, simply, not too much. Stop short. If the makeup of the cage isn’t important to your story (e.g., it doesn’t have a lock that needs to be picked later, the rabbit doesn’t ever get caught in the bars, nobody has to pet it by cramming their fingers through the mesh), it’s all right to leave it to the reader’s imagination.

Don’t fill the prose full of details just because you can. Get us together, picturing something nearly the same, and leave us to fill in some of the blanks with our own mental details. It draws the reader in. So what if your rabbit has red eyes and mine has brown? What matters is that we’re both seeing the cage, the rabbit, the numeral eight, and that we’re both engaged.

By: The Fierce

The Fierce — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:04:04 +0000

I was once told that description was what you put into the story to keep the reader from being convinced the protagonist and everywhere they visited and everything they used came directly from the author’s office. I don’t believe it, but I kind of take it as a brief rule of thumb – describe what’s different about someone, and if you’re writing too much that’s different because it’s pretty? It’s fantasy and no one above the age of 12 really wants to read it.

Ahem. I’m only kidding.

By: De

De — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:21:00 +0000

I would say (as far as I understand it now, and given that I so loved playwriting classes that they skewed my brain) that description is everything that isn’t dialogue or stage directions, as in “He took a swipe at her. She ducked.”

Hm…I know how to use stage direction to add beats to my dialogue, so no, not what I’m looking for yet. But I’m sure this is something most people don’t know, because I’ve had to explain it multiple times to other writers.

The kind of thing I’m looking more at is – when do you describe a building? When do you not describe a building? Why? When you do describe a building, how elaborate should you get? What is it that you’re trying to accomplish when you’re describing the building? What is it that you lose when you describe the building, other than the ability of the reader to fill in the details for you?

By: Doyce

Doyce — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:59:55 +0000

Thanks, Will.

I wish I understood what I do well enough to explain it more cogently. This thing feels like I haven’t quite let it bake long enough, but I’m glad folks are finding good stuff anyway.

By: Will Hindmarch

Will Hindmarch — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:44:48 +0000

You and I agree on dialogue, I think. Your examples of how to control pacing and break up pauses are right on. Good stuff.